


"for it is not the start and it is not the end"

by sparks_fly



Series: [ for you're the start and end of me | park & park ] [5]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Prince! WOOJIN, WE MEET AGAIN AND AGAIN, lifetime au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 22:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14411538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparks_fly/pseuds/sparks_fly
Summary: Two lives intertwined again and again and again. For their lives do not end the way they want it to.





	"for it is not the start and it is not the end"

**Author's Note:**

> BECAUSE WOOJIN HAS SAVED JIHOON' NUMBER AS "MY LOVE, HOONIE" AND I'M SO OMG????!!!!
> 
> (and anyway the fourth part has some mature (?) content)
> 
> my wannaone twitter account is @porkwoojined please scream at me there!

  
i.

fate plays cruelly.

he sees his boy standing by the edge of the building. hope is all lost, his eyes have given up and his body all ready for the end.

one step, one wrong step can end up fatally wrong.

and jihoon watches --- watches with worry as he sees the man (no, a boy) his boy looking up and cursing all the cusses any man has ever known in this world. he can’t blame him, though. because jihoon knows everything about the said boy. he knows all the heart aches and sufferings and happiness of that particular boy.

he is park woojin, 19 years old, a boy with no family, no money, no more dream and no more hope from the cruel world. in the eye of everyone, woojin is a nobody --- a victim of society but nobody dares to help. but for jihoon --- woojin is everything he can ask for so he wants woojin to feel better --- be better --- make a world better for him. he has watched the boy fall down and get up only to fall back down so many times before. he’s been with him all this time.

for jihoon is an angel --- woojin’s angel to be cliché. assigned to watch over the said boy to grow up and live his life. today --- today would be his last day, according to the law of nature. woojin is to die today.

but woojin doesn’t.

for jihoon stands beside him --- wings beautifully sculptures behind his back. and boy, woojin has the biggest shock of the century if jihoon is basing it on his expression.

“who ---who are you?!?” his lips tremble just by uttering the words. jihoon has heard woojin’s voice so many times but his heart flutters knowing he is directly talking to him.

so jihoon reaches out, palm open for woojin to take “i’m jihoon and i’m here to save you.”

“what are you, my angel?” the other boy scoffs back at him.

but jihoon smiles, blinding and hypnotizing, the kind of smile where nobody can ever refuse to. “well, you could say that. i’m assigned to you, park woojin and you know i’m breaking so many laws right now.”

“so why are you then?”

“because i want to show you more than what this world can offer you.”

jihoon then flies in front of him, and woojin’s mouth becomes the perfect “o” shape. endearing, jihoon cites. he offers his hand and thankfully, woojin decides to take it.

“where are we going?” woojin asks tentatively.

jihoon smiles as he carefully wraps his arms around woojin’s. things feel a little bit sloppy and unhinged but as they fly away with woojin’s arms tightening his hold around, jihoon decides it’s worth it.

park woojin is worth it.

“to see more of the world, woojin.”

 

  
“do you know what you have done?” jisung ask, he who is the eldest and wisest of the angels in the council. respected and the kindest of them all. jihoon feels guilty as he hears the disappointment lacing in his tone.

“jihoon,” another voice calls. it’s minhyun, also one of the eldest but also the strictest in the council. “do you know that you have turned against the law of nature? that boy was supposed to die!”

jihoon just nods, hands behind his back.

“give us a good reason why you have done it.” jisung, ever the voice of reason, orders.

he sighs. and sighs. and closes his eyes. “i--- i’m in love with him. i have always been since i first laid my eyes on him. please, please, council, spare woojin out of this punishment. i’ll do anything --- anything to save him.” he pleads, desperate.

“anything?” minhyun quips from behind him, hands on his shoulder. “you’ll do anything for your human, jihoon?”

“yes.” he answers truthfully.

“well then, you would become a human, too. you’d lose your wings and powers.” jisung decides and jihoon is okay with that.

but minhyun decides to butt in, adding more. “and also, you’re going to meet park woojin not only in this lifetime but in every lifetime. your lives would be intertwined like the red string of fate. however, that would not assure you that in each lifetime you would end up with him. at some point, you’ll be meeting him but it does not guarantee you a happy ending.”

“but supreme---”

“so are you sure you would do anything for that human, jihoon?” like the gentle he’s known jisung for, he asks.

he closes his eyes and think of woojin. he, who is waiting for him back home. then he nods and screams as minhyun rips out his wings. it’s painful and cruel but that is how life is. after an agonizing pain, his skin prickles, left with only marks on the same spots where his wings used to be. he bows down to the council and turns around after.

“is love worth it all, jihoon?” a voice that is clearly of jisung’s questions him. he doesn’t answer as he steps out of the room.

he sees all the other angels’ faces with worries and fears in his eyes. he catches daehwi’s (his best friend) eyes and smiles at him before he finally leaves.

 

  
jihoon knocks on the door. after the third knock, jihoon is met with open arms and smell of chicken in the tiny house they have. he runs towards the open arms and hug the other as tightly as he can.

“did you miss me that much, jihoonie?” the other teases, bumping his nose on his.

jihoon rolls his eyes and nuzzles on the other’s neck. “you have no idea, woojinie.”

the other laughs, pulling him inside while laughing heartily. it’s the kind of laugh that swells his heart in so many ways --- the kind of laugh jihoon wants to hear so many times again in his life.

and yes, jisung, love is worth it all.

_(in this lifetime, jihoon and woojin grow up together, adopting two dogs in the process, living side by side against all the odds in this world. hair turns to grey as they fight for their love._

_and when woojin takes his last breath, jihoon stays with his fingers laced on his, “i love you, jihoonie, and thank you. i will find you in our next life.”_

_an hour after, jihoon sleeps beside woojin and does not wake up the next day.)_

  
ii.

“you’re the crown prince!” the boy splutters, finger pointing accusingly at the one in front of him, eyes wide and seemingly confused as to why he is sneaking out at night.

so woojin does what he thinks should be best, he covers up the other boy’s mouth with his hands. “shut up, can you be any louder, peasant?”

“padbdhsj?” his voice is muffled by woojin’s hands and the crown prince is a little bit proud and satisfied until the other bites his hands a little bit hard. “peasant? i think it’s much better if the crown prince is jinyoung than you!”

jinyoung, woojin’s younger brother, son of his father, king euigeon to concubine bae. it’s not that he hates his brother, it’s just a little bit complicated, especially with all this crown prince hanging onto them that he cannot play with him. his mother tells him not to play with jinyoung because son, concubine bae wants the throne for jinyoung. but it is rightfully yours to take, please always know that.

so he opts to sneak out of the palace rather than to be bored by the politics inside. but he is not expecting a boy in his age --- brown hair and natural brown eyes. with lips chapped and pink as they can get.

“why are you sneaking out, crown prince?” the boy asks of him.

woojin glares and ignores the other as he continues to stride away from the palace. ignoring the other is an easy feat, especially when he is distracted by the beautiful lights outside, people dancing and singing to some tunes he does not recognize, he seems men and women drinking and having fun.

woojin kind of wants this. woojin kind of wants this unguarded life. to have fun --- to make friends --- to laugh merrily --- to be young.

his eyes glisten with spark just by the thought.

“are you enjoying this, cr---” the boy nudges him, only for woojin to immediately shushes him with his hands. oh, his lips are soft.

“woojin.” he hisses at him. “call me woojin.”

“but ---” he is about to protest but woojin gives him his hardest glare. he is not letting this boy ruin his disguise ever. “okay, woojin, then. but isn’t the event in the palace grander than this?”

that, he may have to agree. but it gets boring with calculated laughter and steps. unlike here outside wherein it’s okay to make mistakes.

“yeah, but this is much more beautiful.”

the other pouts, putting his hands on his waist. “i have never seen an event inside the palace.” it’s kind of cute, woojin has to note. “i’ve always wondered how it feels like to perform in front of the king and queen. you know, i would like to become a palace entertainer.”

“you wouldn’t really want that, if i were you.” because really, it’s boring and scary.

“you only say that just because you’re--- hmmp.” the other says, crossing his arms in front of him. “it’s fun here, yes, but think of the lavish dresses and fanciful food that the palace has to offer. i wouldn’t trade those for nurungji, you know.”

woojin is about to retort back when he sees the palace open. he guides the other boy back to hide in one of the trunks, hawk eyes watching as the palace guards scatter.

“tomorrow --- there is a lantern festival. would you like to come?” the other asks, a little bit hopeful for woojin’s liking.

and woojin takes the bait and nods. “same time.” he mumbles, already running away as soon as he sees the guards away from the palace door. he runs and runs as if his life depended on it with the pretty boy’s face etching on his mind.

 

woojin is a little bit more excited than he ever expects him to. dressed in his simplest hanbok, he leaves the palace with fluttering heart and sees the boy waiting for him in the same place.

and boy, woojin’s heart does a little tumbling when the other’s face lights up to see him, waving at him excitedly. he runs towards the boy and the latter wraps his arm on his and woojin is a little bit breathless.

they weave through the crowd uncaring whether they bump into someone else. woojin is fascinated with the different colors and sizes of the lantern floating around the sky.

he tugs at the other to go to another boy who is selling *deunggan and he excitedly points at the pink and green deunggan. “how much is that?”

“1 mun.” the boy replies.

woojin takes out 1 mun and excitedly joins the other. he lights his *deunggan and slowly jots something inside, the other boy watching him with fascination. he beckons for the other to move forward and when he does, woojin closes his eyes, uttering a prayer.

as soon as he opens his eyes and the deunggan flying, the other boy’s smile catches his attention. it’s so bright that woojin wants to hide from it, but it also that brightness that woojin wants to see it again and again.

woojin watches his own lantern flying away but he thinks that nothing can be as breathtaking as the other boy’s smile.

 

then the next night and the next one then the next night, the boy with a pretty smile and eyes is gone.

  
the next time woojin sees him is unexpected. he’s lost all hope to find the boy with pretty eyes and smile again. but woojin knows it’s him. he is the same boy with pretty smile and pretty eyes and he is still mesmerized with him.

he stands in front of everyone, lips hidden by a silky mask covering his face, but eyes shown full of determination. it’s the same eyes that haunts him in his dreams and now --- those exact eyes are looking back at him.

accompanied by the sound of gayageum, woojin watches as the other moves his limbs with poised and grace. the fluidity of each movement causes woojin to stop and stare because god, he is so beautiful --- painfully beautiful and he’s there --- in front of him after so many years of woojin’s longing.

and this time, woojin is not letting go.

 

right after the performance, woojin makes sure to run and follow the young boy's steps and when he sees a chance, he seizes the other's hand and leads him to the lake away from prying eyes. and there, woojin cannot help but embrace the young boy from his longing. woojin feels the connection between him and the other boy and this time, woojin doesn't let go.

“crown prince?” the young boy's hesitant voice is echoing in the cold autumn night.

woojin feels like crying and he does. “where have you been? i searched for you everywhere! every night! i almost lost my mind looking for you.”

the other looks taken aback by his confession as he moves backward to meet his eyes. “your highness, please forgive my absence. remember how i have told you i always wanted to become an entertainer? and here i am now.” the other smiles shyly.

which brings a bigger smile on woojin's face as he caresses the young boy's hair. the air is chillier tonight compared to the previous nights but with the other boy, he feels the warmth that he's never experienced before.

“i haven't gotten your name.” he suddenly remembers.

the boy's shy smile gets bigger and woojin sees the most beautiful scenery in his life. “jihoon, your highness, that's my name. park jihoon.”

jihoon, even his name sounds beautiful. it's more beautiful that the young boy's flushed cheeks contrast the peaceful cold night and when woojin finally intertwines his fingers with his, nothing feels more right than this.

 

  
_(however, in this lifetime, woojin married a young lady whose family line boasts finesse and power. but, jihoon doesn't leave --- never leaves woojin. for jihoon becomes king woojin's own and personal favorite entertainer, only for the king to see and devour. only for the king to love._  
_and when the queen died, the king never remarries for his heart only belongs to the entertainer park jihoon. and inside his room, where only the four walls are the witnesses of his undying love, king woojin confesses, “i've always been in love with you, jihoon. always. forever.”_  
  
_but never once has king woojin declared his love for the entertainer park jihoon in front of anybody.)_

  
* deuggan – lantern * gayageum – string instrument

 

iii.

  
“we're going to get married one day, alright?”

it's a promise, woojin hooks his pinky finger around hyeongseob's. it's cute and adorable because for twelve years old like them, love is not complicated. it's easy and does not need any complex. and jihoon stands a little bit far away from them, eyes wandering as hyeongseob laces his own pinky finger with a cute smile on his face and nods.

and jihoon does not understand why somehow, it kind of hurts, it kind of stings inside as woojin and hyeongseob hop merrily together.

it's always been like this. woojin and hyeongseob, hyeongseob and woojin. because one day --- when they grow up, woojin and hyeongseob are getting married and jihoon the third wheeler will be their best man and they will all be in suits, faces mar with tears of happiness because finally woojin and hyeongseob will be one. together.

and hyeongseob seals it with a gentle smile that attracts woojin even harder. he seals a vow that, unknown to them, will never be theirs. ever.

  
the gentle touches and playful kisses are done in hyeongseob's backyard. and the first time that they kiss, it's during woojin's fifteenth birthday party. hyeongseb, the ever forgetful, forgets about it so in haste, he kisses him on his cheeks. woojin freezes and jihoon feels like his world suddenly stops, as well.

it's nothing special, they're only fifteen years old, it's just hyeongseob plucking his courage to kiss woojin on his birthday because he has no gift and here's jihoon who didn't sleep the past few nights making woojin his special collage book. it's a little unfair, jihoon notes as he watches woojin to put the said collage book aside in favor of sitting beside hyeongseob.

but still, no matter how jihoon insists that it's nothing special, it actually is. especially seeing hyeongseob's super red face and woojin's shy smile. and for jihoon, hyeongseob suddenly looks a little bit prettier --- a little bit sweeter, but jealousy is not a friend of jihoon.

and when hyeongseob giggles and squeezes jihoon's hand, he squeezes back twice as harder. he wants to let him know that he's a little hurt, it's a little painful. however, he doesn't understand why, why seeing woojin with hyeongseob kind of stings inside because he learns as he grows older that things take time --- he has to be patient and he has to wait.

  
but really, jihoon cannot understand who he has to wait.

 

  
at seventeen, hyeongseob needs to go to australia because his dad has a good offer there. jihoon cries, but hyeongseob is the one that cries the most. and woojin is there, holding both of them as they sob their hearts out. but jihoon notices how subtle woojin presses his lips on hyeongseob's cheeks which make the other stop crying.

and jihoon's tears are dry but inside, he cries even harder.

jihoon watches woojin traces the shape of australia and promises, “no matter what, when you come back, we're still going to get married, okay?”

hyeongseob nods and wraps his arms around woojin's shoulders and he believes him. there's nothing that they can do, anyway, but to believe empty promises.

 

when hyeongseob comes back, he's twenty-five, more proud --- more confident --- more built. but it hurts as he inhales the air of busan. so many things have changed and so little time to actually look at them. he pretends to be okay, to be much better, because that's what he has to do. he smiles like someone has given him the galaxy.

but it hurts, hurts hurts hurts so so much hyeongseob can barely breathe. because he can feel --- he's not numb, he can feel and he doesn't want to feel.

  
he makes fun of woojin's still very obvious snaggletooth but the empty “i miss you so so much” rings around the place. hyeongseob tries his hardest to hide the pain with his blinding smile. because, really, he has to be happy for him --- for them and he reminds himself that times wait for nobody --- not even for him. and promises are meant to be broken.

with a wipe from woojin's mouth, he speaks. “i wasn't sure if you would really come back but i'm happy you did.” and then he smiles. that charming smile that hyeongseob has or perhaps had fallen in love before.

“you know that i wouldn't trade this for anything in this world.” hyeongseob says, leaning forward to straighten out the sleeves of his black suit. woojin looks as dashing as ever and god, hyeongseob just wants to cry so hard. wants to kiss him --- to love him. to be with him.

and woojin smiles, because he's really really happy. so so happy that in the eight years without hyeongseob in his life, this is the most genuine smile he's ever shown anybody. but he tries to hide the fact that he can the drop and someone else's heart just to have hyeongseob back with him.

  
they watch as the kids run around, laughing merrily and they both watch as they go. it's woojin who breaks the silence. “we were supposed to get married, just like what i promised you back.”

hyeongseob nods. because he knows. he really does know.

 

“wow, don't you just look dashing?” those are the first words hyeongseob utters as soon as he sees jihoon in his white suit. nobody can argue, though, jihoon has always been beautiful. and he cannot, for the life of him, blame woojin for falling in love with him.

jihoon holds his hand and sincerely whispers, “i'm so glad you're here, seobbie.”

hyeongseob bites his lips --- and stops the tear.

 

  
but you know what's worse? when jihoon knows woojin can never love him the way he's loved ahn hyeongseob in his life. but he tries to swallow everything because god knows, only god knows he can do anything for park woojin, no matter if he doesn't hold his heart fully.

  
_(in this lifetime, it's always been woojin and hyeongseob – it is and will always be._

_but not in this ending, not in this story._

_and jihoon weeps for a love that can never be returned.)_

 

  
iv.

jihoon finds him sexy and hella attractive. the way he loosens his tie when it gets too humid. he likes how he licks his lips when it gets dry (and jihoom himself cannot help but also lick his). he likes how woojin takes control.

unfortunately though, woojin is jihoon’s college professor. he is older and wiser and also married.

but perhaps, that’s what makes prof. park much more attractive in jihoon’s eyes.

so when everyone leaves, jihoon finds himself zeroing on prof. park’s table. the latter oblivious by his advance. he goes to his back and damn even prof. park’s nape looks enticing. he kind of want to run his lips on his nape.

and he tries --- he’s almost successful but then prof. park jumps out of his seat and looks at him with disgust and shock.

jihoon finds it a little bit scary. the way the professor’s eyes hardens just by looking at him.

“what are you doing, park jihoon?” and oh, has jihoon said that even his voice is sexy? he has this busan accent which makes most of the students drool just by the sound. and god, jihoon has glared to all the students who even try ogling at his favorite professor.

“uhm..” he says unintelligently, biting his lips. “professor, i have some questions.”

the professor nods but still unconvinced.

“it’s just that---” and then he leans in, his lips touching the lips he’s admired for so long.

it feels like heaven. this is park jihoon’s first kiss and it tastes like marshmallows and feels like heaven.

“what are you doing!?” prof. park yells, scandalized as he moves backward away from jihoon.

if he sees jihoon’s eyes flashing hurt, he is not sure he minded.

“prof. park, i really like you.” it’s now or never. “and i want you to date me!”

“park jihoon!”

jihoon bats his eyelashes at him. “yes?”

“i’m married and my god, i’m ten years older than you are.” he explains, gaze softening a bit.

but he doesn’t want that. he doesn’t care about anything. age is just a number. who’s to dictate jihoon about anything and anyone he likes? not numbers, definitely never numbers.

  
“fuck numbers.” jihoon screams back at him. “i’ve always wanted you, prof. park! I’ve always liked you! why can’t you give me a chance?”

“because,” the elder sighs. “there’s no chance to give, jihoon. i’m sure that there are still deserving boys your age who can love you back as much as you can give.”

“but who cares, i only want yours!”

“jihoon, you’ll learn too.” he says dismissively, running his fingers through jihoon’s brown hair.

jihoon wants to hold his hand --- just try to --- but the elder man already leaves jihoon and his broken heart.

  
that’s jihoon’s first heart break. he watches the elder leave the classroom without a single glance at him. he leaves jihoon with a scar in his heart that cannot be mended ever again.

  
_(and in this lifetime, jihoon ends up alone.)_  


v.

woojin feels the thrill --- the excitement --- and then the sadness. he sees the gocheol sky dome be filled with thousands and thousands of wannables and woojin feels like choking up.

  
he must have accepted long before that wannaone has an ending --- limited. but it still feels surreal knowing that the end is nearing.

he would miss the late night games with the rest of the members --- would miss talking in busan accent with daniel hyung --- would miss annoying jisungie and sungwoonie hyung --- would miss minhyun hyung’s nag of jaehwan hyumg to please please shower up, kim jaehwan and jaehwan hyung retorting with let me live, minhyun hyung!!!! --- would miss the ong-bak relationship that he and seongwu hyung has built --- would miss how jinyoung would suddenly talk to him and laugh when he does something stupid --- would miss guanlinie clinging onto him like a koala bear.

daehwi ---- daehwi is going to be with him and youngmin hyung and donghyun hyung and as much as he misses his other hyungs ---

woojin knows it’s nothing compared to how much he would miss park jihoon.

  
park jihoon with eyes so bright they twinkle like stars in the sky. park jihoon whose smile so blinding like the way the sun shines. park jihoon with lips chapped yet still shiny and he has kissed those lips so many times woojin’s head is going to get dizzy if he counts. park jihoon whose heart so big yet he gives it to park woojin.

he knows it’s ending --- the aftertaste is bittersweet and woojin cannot help as he sheds more tears once the stage the rest of them are standing at suddenly goes down, the loud cheers suddenly dying as they go back stage.

that’s the end.

woojin does not know how to feel.

but there’s a lingering hand on his and jihoon is watching him with curious eyes. he doesn’t want to explain so he holds jihoon so so so close as if he can just put him into his heart. he holds him so so so close like there is no tomorrow.

“woojinie?” jihoon resounds in his ear.

jihoon breaks the embrace, his fingers and hands cupping woojin’s face and oh god i’m going to miss you so much. “happy new year.” he just greets.

woojin wants to trash out --- to scream ---- because why is jihoon greeting him a happy new year when it means wannaone is going to break up?

“are you that happy to get rid of me?” woojin enquires.

but jihoon wriggles his finger in front of him. “you’ll never get rid of me that easily, park woojin! but tell you what, no matter how unsure our future is, i just want to let you know that i will be with you with each step you take, alright?”

woojin nods, he knows that but sometimes, it still hurts to accept.

“i’m just a call away.” jihoon reassures.

so woojin just nods unsurely and leans in to meet jihoon’s lips.

 

_(and in this lifetime ----_

_this lifetime is not yet finished. woojin is going to make sure that he and jihoon would make it this lifetime because woojin is jihoon’s and jihoon is woojin’s. No but’s and no if’s. woojin and jihoon’s story will never end but woojin knows he’s going to make sure that he is going to find jihoon again and again._

  
_same goes for jihoon.)_

**Author's Note:**

> if you are reading this, please drop by a comment. curse me or anything lmao thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> i'm actually in the middle of my another 2park fanfic when this crossed my mind and like what irdc let's do this uwu


End file.
